Men: Honesty is the Best Policy...I'd put out for this fella....

PANHANDLER ADMITS HE'S PROBABLY NOT JESUS
Los Angeles, CA — After nearly twenty years of panhandling and preaching to passerbys, homeless man Marty Ludlow finally admitted he's probably not Jesus Christ, and apologized if he gave anyone the wrong impression.

"I'm sorry if people thought I was the incarnated human form of the Holy Ghost," Ludlow, 48, said at a press conference early Wednesday. "I know I may have used that line several times, but hey, I was drunk and it works great. I'm really sorry for not being totally clear on this. I realize now that I'm probably not Jesus Christ and I apologize to anyone who gave me money just in case."

According to West Hollywood residents where Ludlow would regularly panhandle, the bearded transient not only claimed he was Jesus Christ, but also carried around a sign that said "I'm Jesus Christ."

"He would tell everyone he was Jesus and if we ignored his wishes to buy him a 40-ounce Michelob, we would be be screwed for life," resident Sonya Redding said. "At first I ignored him, but after he insisted again and again he was Jesus, I felt I should try to help him -- you know, just in case. Then he stole my watch."

Ludlow also carried signs that read, "Give me money and I promise you'll get into heaven," "I died for your sins so gimme some change," "I'm Jesus and I also served in Vietnam," and "I'm Jesus and if you don't buy me a sandwich, you will most likely burn in the fiery pits of hell for all eternity."

As part of his probation agreement, Ludlow has agreed to carry a disclaimer which now clearly states he's most likely not Jesus.

"See, it's written in the small print on the bottom of this cardboard sign that says, 'I'm probably not Jesus, even though I look exactly like him.'"

These next pictures were all taken at the same time. These two ladies were sitting together. I dunno, maybe they were going to put their money into one big crack pot. haha. get it?
I gave them both a granolla bar and some rockets. The lady in the jean jacket said "OOOH! I'm going to suck on mine!" when I handed her her rockets! Then I felt a twinge of sadness and realized that maybe hard nutty granolla bars and sugar packed candy aren't the best thing to be handing out to these people. They don't always have all their teeth. Maybe I should be handing out toothbrushes instead.
Anyway, the last photo is my favorite. The lady on the right is showing the other one what kind of granolla bar she got. She was really happy about the whole thing. I walked away feeling smuggly happy once again.

Sherri the Turkey Whisperer sent us this...and we can't thank her enough. It is definately a must post! I loved that he relieved himself right in front of the cop car!! CLASSIC! ok, sorry, but no matter what i do, this just won't work. it's not in the right format or something. Sherri, if you get this, please try resending the photo and we will try again.

So Crofton and I went downtown a couple days ago for our picture taking extravaganza. I filled my pockets with rockets and the stroller with granolla bars and off we went to hand them out and take some photos. My camera batteries died and I somehow ended up losing a few that I thought would have been really good. I was cheesed. Anyway, I will post the photos over the next couple days. Enjoy! Here's one of a panhandler. He was the first one I actually took a photo of ever (awe...my first), and I was kind of intimitaded, so I took the photo first and then circled back to give him his treats. He was sooo happy with the rockets. He hadn't had them in years and I made his day.

He was reading Archie and that's his knitting by his hat. I'm not sure what it was he was knitting exactly, but I'm betting it was a scarf.

This gnar-dog sits out on Century Blvd by LAX every day...

This waste-of-space made me create a reality show in my mind, where they take bums like him and pull an Encino Man on him...register him at NYU...get him some dentures...

And see what happens when 7 grubbers get picked to live in a house, have their lives tapes and see them get real...The Real World:Homeless.

Hah! Let's get this started!

Here is a wonderful photo submitted by Cher

Thank you! This is priceless!